Looking Into the Heart

The last three weeks have been hell. Everything is just SO hard. I feel like I’m very inadequate. I feel like I’m failing. My class room is the most trying obstacle but in so many other ways I’m being challenged. Nothing is simple. Everyday is an up hill struggle. And I still ask myself why. What is my purpose here, ahorita (now)?

On a completely more positive note: I was really blessed by the parent conferences. I was a little nervous before hand because I have a handful of students that I’m truly worried with. The conference in general went very well. Most all of my parents are very understanding and supportive. They are so willing to assist in any way that they can. After the first partial, I realized how many bright students I have. Sometimes I forget because I focus so much attention on those who are struggling academically and behaviorally. I have some really mature students and I have others who just bring a smile on my face after the end of the day.

One conference in particular was very unique. The mom didn’t open her student’s report card at all in my presence. Her first question was, “How is my son’s behavior in class?” She continued to ask questions about his interactions with others, “Is he kind?” “Does he share?” “Does he fight with others? “How does he treat girls?” Later she said that she is much more interested in his character than in his academics. That was such a surprise! I wish more parents had her heart. I wish my parents had such a philosophy. She modeled God’s prime concern for our heart. It reminded me of the song, "The Heart of Worship," one line states:
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
I was encouraged by her desire in molding his heart. Her child gives great big hugs and is one of those who make me smile. I’m very privileged to work with each of my twenty-one students. This hardship is worth it.